To give birth to something is to destroy the World right before you
by Mystic ToMatooo
Summary: I do not own Tokyo Ghoul, please support the official release. How can someone who was on their own right from the beginning understand someone who has lost everything? Can a person who has lost all their faith believe in anything ever again? Can a person who has lost their way back home still return to their home with the help of someone who knows what love is in this grey World.


**Hello everyone it's me the failed author, as much as I suck at writing I wanted to write something let 3 people who know me here know that I'm alive (surprisingly) and that I still suck at writing. This is a small one-shot where I will pair two of my favourite characters from Tokyo Human Eto and Amon. This pairing would usually make approximately 0 sense because they have interacted only once but the power of iMajination (imagination) can do anything even make me eat raw fish. Without further ado I present you the long awaited story I amazingly named, the (insert name).**

 _Amon is sitting on the bed in his room thinking about all the events that happened since he has become a one-eyed ghoul and all the battles he has fought with Eto._

Amon: I can't let us get killed…

Amon: Not like this

 _Eto comes in the room_

Eto: It has been a long day Koutarou-kun

 _Eto sits beside Amon on the bed._

Amon: Yes it has Eto, it will only get harder from here on out, I don't know if will be able to pull through this

 _Amon appears to be in deep thoughts_

Eto: Something's bothering you I can see it

Amon: It's just we've already been through so much and I haven't even seen 1% of life, if I had it bad in these few years than I can't even begin to imagine what it has been like for you who has lived like this from the very beginning and you still want to fight for the right cause.

 _Amon thinks about the difference between him and her. It is one thing to have lost everything but what if you never had it in the first place. Eto has never known what is true love, after all she was never truly wanted. The world offered Eto nothing but suffering so she longed for what is called love although she could never have it so she instead chose to destroy. She has always walked the path of loneliness, sadness and sorrow. Her destruction brought her only more sorrow and loneliness while changing nothing. Like a child from one of her novels she has forgotten how to go back home but it didn't matter because there was nowhere to go back too._

 _Eto smiles at this, a sad and a happy smile at the same time, a sad one for remembering her bitter past and a happy one for realising how blessed she is for meeting Amon._

Eto: Well Koutarou-kun I think you're forgetting that I have done so many horrible, inexcusable things, I have killed a lot of people and I will continue doing so until I realise my dream

Amon: I know but after hearing it from Arima-san himself I just cannot help but feel like I need to change the World... Together with you... Together with Arima-san. You know when I was a first-class investigator in the CCG I thought of you as nothing but a monster who has killed so many of my comrades, the most formidable enemy CCG has ever faced but now... I see how delusional and wrong I was... How oblivious I was to all the dark secrets the Washuus have been hiding. You have opened my eyes Eto and gave me the opportunity to finally for once in my life do what's right and help people who don't deserve all this tragedy.

 _Eto at first seems surprised by this but then she smiles, an honest smile not a fake and artificial one she gives her executives and subordinates in Aogiri when she commands them, but the one which glistens with hope._

Eto: I think you're thinking way too highly of me Koutarou-kun unlike you I have never cared about justice and I have never put others in front of my dream. I have sacrificed many people and much more are to come soon. Even if we do succeed you won't be able to bring back those I killed, even if we survive this and live long enough to see our revolution bear fruit and see the World where both humans and ghouls live together peacefully do you really think I will just be forgiven for all the families that I have ruined? Of all the loved ones I have taken away from people whose said loved ones fought against me? Even if absolutely everything goes according to my plan I do not expect to live a cheerful life in the future.

 _Amon looks at her, this time with both seriousness and determination in his eyes._

 _Eto: If everything goes according to plan I want you to be the one to imprison me, you still haven't gotten your hands stained with blood, it's still not too late for you to start living a normal life, so if it ever comes to that I'll be the devil and you be the hero, that way you will be able to settle down for a peaceful new life and maybe even find a lover._

Amon doesn't respond this time however, he simply kisses her on the lips and Eto's eyes widen in shock but she soon recollects herself and smiles while their lips are still locked together, looking at Amon without closing her eyes, the sensation is bittersweet like drinking juice after brushing teeth as while Eto is happy to have finally met someone who will love her and care for her she also realises that by letting Amon love her she will only drag him down into the abyss of no return along with her. Oh how fate loved Eto, not even allowing her to reject the first person who showed her what true love is. She finally knows what it's like to be loved but why is she feeling upset now? Is it because she knows that Amon will be on the losing end or because she also realises their relationship can't work out due to different circumstances a child known as God has thrown them into. It's funny to her actually, how people can experience worst fates possible when they didn't deserve a single bit of it.

Amon on the other hand feels differently. He knows that he has felt loyalty towards the just cause for all of his life, thinking he served only justice but here he is, a good man doing nothing while evil triumphs and his so called pacifism crumbles into bloodstained dust revealing only one thing, he was a coward too scared to know the truth, too self righteous to accept the emotions he felt towards those he didn't want to relate with, too self absorbed to notice the suffering of others... those around him. He thought he was better than everyone else and yet... his heroism did more harm than World they live in sure is a fucked up one just as Eto has described it. You can't even choose the right side because there is no right side. Ghouls kill humans, humans kill ghouls, it never ends. It's just a part of the twisted and sick game they cannot avoid. No one is right and yet no one is wrong either. He has lived his life before becoming a one-eyed ghoul in his own illusion just like everyone else in this World, he thought he hated his foster father but no wasn't he loved him this whole time even though his foster father was the worst kind of person one can encounter... a ghoul... a mass murderer… In the end Amon knew what he has been doing for almost three decades of his life, he was no better than Arima... or even Eto. Still if all the events that transpired led to him meeting Eto he won't regret it one bit. In this grey World Amon and Eto live in it's not easy to see the difference between right and wrong and that's why he will do what he thinks is right just like he has always been doing. That in his heart is right and doing what he thinks is right is enough to make him happy. When he first met Eto and discovered who she is he still coulnd't bring himself to hate her no matter how much he wanted to.

He was always told how One-Eyed Owl, Eto, was evil, wanted to destroy humanity and plunge the World in chaos but even so who he actually met is not a hopeless demon. It's a girl who has only known pain, loss and suffering through her life on a much higher degree than himself, who still after all that wanted to change something and try to aim for the better World. She wasn't even a ghoul, he didn't know how many stories he has heard about Eto when he was still a knight in a shiny armor wannabe, he only knew that none of them were true. He met a half human, half ghoul who was still more noble than a lot of humans he has interacted with. If changing the World into a better place for both kinds meant dying together with her as unknown heroes of their own little stories then he wouldn't feel bad about dying.

 _Eto: What is that?_

Eto asks giggling this time

 _Amon: This is my response to you saying that maybe I will find a lover, if I ever do end up with a lover it will be you Eto or no one else._

Amon says it smiling as well, his eyes sparking with determination and resolve.

 _Eto: You won't give up no matter what I say hah?_

Eto has felt a lot of pain in her life, hopelessness was as common and normal to her as faith is to a religious person but this moment brings her back what she thinks she has lost, hope.

 _Eto: You know when you say that I can actually scratch the tip of the iceberg which people call hope. We can and will succeed in our little dream, together._

Eto lays on top of Amon on the bed and starts kissing him, their lips locking once again in what seemed like a millennium.

He will give his all just for the small chance that they will be able to continue living in the new peaceful World together as nameless and unknown ordinary people. A city where only they are missing. That is the kind of a World they want.

 _Eto: So if by any chance or miracle we survive all of this and people completely forget about us /like the canon author of our manga/ will you be willing to continue living together with me? As humans?_

Eto asks leaning forward, their noses touching just barely.

 _Amon: Of course, I love you... Eto._

 _Eto: I love you too Koutarou._

She kisses him again but this time more gently than the previous time. If there truly is a God out there then maybe he is not all that bad. Eto doesn't remember giving Amon the right to fall in love with her but she is glad he doesn't need her permission because he is all she needs, both physically mentally. If God does exist he must be good for letting her live long enough to experience this with him. If there is even the smallest chance that they live through all of this then she will beat all the odds, she will make the impossible possible, she will create a miracle... she will rewrite the summary but this time someone will notice. Maybe living in this World isn't so bad after all. For the first time in her life Eto admits that she is selfish and she has no qualms about it.

 **Quite a long one-shot I must say but it's the least I can do, or in this case write, after going offline (in terms of writing) around the time when Ramses III was a good pharaoh. I don't expect this to get many views and reads but I really wanted to write and publish this since I'm bitter and salty about Eto and Amon getting chucked in the final chapter and epilogue of Tokyo Ghoul :re (and I'm aslo the only one who ships them). Overall I think while this is quite average and not good in terms of writing quality it is still a massive improvement over Saiyan | please forget that I ever wrote that | Ghoul. Special thanks to Ishida Sui who inspired me to write this, I love you. On the final note if anyone gets bored to death and reads this, I thank you from the bottom of my heart, see you again in some other story hopefully before humanity inhabits the outer space.**


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